Anger is the worst enemy of any person. We all know this very well and yet we all easily succumb to this temptation day in day out. It is not a vice by any standards, it is just a dangerous state of mind. A state which stays only for a few seconds, but leaves its dirty traces for a long time to come in every life it touches.
So how is that we can keep away from this? I am thinking this loud as among all of us winsix, I am worst affected by this - I am both a perpetrator and a victim to this malaise. Each time it happened I came out much more badly mauled than before, much more traumatized than before and much more victimized than before.
Counting 1 - 10, taking deep breath, walking away from the scene - none of these remedies seem to be practical. It may work only for mild anger situations but not deep anger situations. The only way seems to be complete self control all the time - what I mean here is that it requires complete inner transformation of an individual and not just a superficial makeover which is manifested just at the time of situation. Anger control should be addressed at the root and not at the symptomatic level. Most of the therapies today only address the symptom and not the root. Thus the solution is only short-term and only works occasionally.
Meditation and yoga may work - but i have seen many people who meditate also lose their temper. I am not finding fault with the technique of yoga itself - i am very confident that in the long run it will work miracles. But by that time it yields results, the disaster is deep and irrevocable. Moreover the solution we come up with should be easily understood by everyone and results should be seen much more sooner.
So let us dissect and see what it means by addressing the issue by root. I want all of you to put in your ideas as to whether you agree with my statement. Also each of you let me know what are you ways of tackling anger. We will evolve this into an interesting concept and see if we can come up with something valuable.
I will post more into the blog tomorrow...
Until then good bye guys...
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
My first blog - Why should we blog?
Many thanks to Nandu - he has initiated a wonderful way of putting to use our urge to write down what we think and in way it is permanently stored for many years to come and even for our kids to see as to what our thoughts were. I am sure i would have felt really excited and thrilled had my dad written any such thoughts that went through his mind in some place and i get a chance to read them.
So then let me make an earnest effort to list why and how i find blogging really useful and healthy.
1. It gives us chance to give shape to our innermost feelings and jot them down.
2. Now a days there is nothing called personal and public - its all in the mindset. So i do not need to care much about the target readers if they can have access to what i write as long as i do not mind anybody reading.
3. You can peek through many different mindsets and understand people much more better.
4. Sometimes writing brings out the best side of a person which is normally hidden because of the introvertedness or some other limitations.
5. If the blogger decides to share some good articles he has in his collection, we can have access to them as well unlike emails where such articles are almost always lost in the maze. It is easier to retrieve from a blog than in an email pool.
6. Even though we may not be talking to each other regularly, blogs will remain as efficient mode of communication between the group members.
7. Once again unlike emails, bloggers tend to be more expressive. while i feel lazy to write more lines in an email, the moment i know i am posting a blog, i tend to more keen to open up more and write more. In a way, it is motivating us to tell more and know more which is good.
8. We leave a trace of our mindset and thought processes to our younger ones. We do not need to judge or debate as to whether it is useful or not for them...just the fact that these writings remain permanent in some remote storage for many more people to read itself is a good feeling.
9. Instead of spending time aimlessly on the internet, blogging is a good and meaningful time spent - better than chatting on the social networking sites or reading movie reviews.
10. This is a positive addiction - where the benefits are immense.
11. When you are hurt emotionally or need to offload the burden of your heart, just go and write a blog - i am sure one will feel very light.
12. If the blogs you write earn attention and fame, then there is nothing like it - there are numerous stories offlate as to people who made their way to instant fame and adulation from their blogs. No not that one should write the blogs with this end result in mind - but be frank - who does not want some recognition out of this habit.
13. Nothing is off the limit for a blog. I tried writing a dairy for the last three years like i was doing at school, but i could not. hopefully i will continue writing on this blog regularly. This will replace my dairy with a permanent footprint for ever.
14. Whether a blog can replace a dairy which is more personal and closer to heart is a debatable thing. but as long as you are an extroverted soul and do not mind to think out loud, it is a safe way and safer place to write your dairy.
15. A blog also allows us to express our opinions freely and fearlessly in all matters of relevance and interest. Shashi Tharoor is a classic example as to how he posts his heart irrespective of the impact his post might create. Infact I somehow feel that some excellent ideas are generated by blogs which are posted regularly - but most of such ideas die a premature death in this gigantic maze of blogs and bloggers
16. Ofcourse last but not the least your english writing will definitely improve, your thoughts will appear more streamlined, your written skills will shape up for the better, your deep down grudges will have platform to express themselves, your innermost feelings will find an outlet and its own set emphathisers, your will find critics to your posts who are ready to dissect you deep and bare if you are interested.
I can write a few more....but it will fall in one or more of the above categories. So i urge all of you to also start writing something.
I know Krishna is a wonderful writer. Praveen too. So they also can start writing somehting. Janani and JP will follow suit.
So then let me make an earnest effort to list why and how i find blogging really useful and healthy.
1. It gives us chance to give shape to our innermost feelings and jot them down.
2. Now a days there is nothing called personal and public - its all in the mindset. So i do not need to care much about the target readers if they can have access to what i write as long as i do not mind anybody reading.
3. You can peek through many different mindsets and understand people much more better.
4. Sometimes writing brings out the best side of a person which is normally hidden because of the introvertedness or some other limitations.
5. If the blogger decides to share some good articles he has in his collection, we can have access to them as well unlike emails where such articles are almost always lost in the maze. It is easier to retrieve from a blog than in an email pool.
6. Even though we may not be talking to each other regularly, blogs will remain as efficient mode of communication between the group members.
7. Once again unlike emails, bloggers tend to be more expressive. while i feel lazy to write more lines in an email, the moment i know i am posting a blog, i tend to more keen to open up more and write more. In a way, it is motivating us to tell more and know more which is good.
8. We leave a trace of our mindset and thought processes to our younger ones. We do not need to judge or debate as to whether it is useful or not for them...just the fact that these writings remain permanent in some remote storage for many more people to read itself is a good feeling.
9. Instead of spending time aimlessly on the internet, blogging is a good and meaningful time spent - better than chatting on the social networking sites or reading movie reviews.
10. This is a positive addiction - where the benefits are immense.
11. When you are hurt emotionally or need to offload the burden of your heart, just go and write a blog - i am sure one will feel very light.
12. If the blogs you write earn attention and fame, then there is nothing like it - there are numerous stories offlate as to people who made their way to instant fame and adulation from their blogs. No not that one should write the blogs with this end result in mind - but be frank - who does not want some recognition out of this habit.
13. Nothing is off the limit for a blog. I tried writing a dairy for the last three years like i was doing at school, but i could not. hopefully i will continue writing on this blog regularly. This will replace my dairy with a permanent footprint for ever.
14. Whether a blog can replace a dairy which is more personal and closer to heart is a debatable thing. but as long as you are an extroverted soul and do not mind to think out loud, it is a safe way and safer place to write your dairy.
15. A blog also allows us to express our opinions freely and fearlessly in all matters of relevance and interest. Shashi Tharoor is a classic example as to how he posts his heart irrespective of the impact his post might create. Infact I somehow feel that some excellent ideas are generated by blogs which are posted regularly - but most of such ideas die a premature death in this gigantic maze of blogs and bloggers
16. Ofcourse last but not the least your english writing will definitely improve, your thoughts will appear more streamlined, your written skills will shape up for the better, your deep down grudges will have platform to express themselves, your innermost feelings will find an outlet and its own set emphathisers, your will find critics to your posts who are ready to dissect you deep and bare if you are interested.
I can write a few more....but it will fall in one or more of the above categories. So i urge all of you to also start writing something.
I know Krishna is a wonderful writer. Praveen too. So they also can start writing somehting. Janani and JP will follow suit.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Universe conspires to make things happen
This is a phrase I first heard from a friend of mine at IBM Kolkata (who incidentally is also a follower of this blog). It is true that if you desperately want something and you turn no stone unturned to make it happen then the universe will do its bit and make it happen. There are many instances where I recollected this phrase in my real life. I would like to narrate one such recent incident to pass on the essence behind this phrase.
Since Dec 2004 I wanted to visit “Sabarimala” (normal civil dress darshan). I kept postponing it till 2008. The Sabarimala shrine is open only for 2 months – from mid November to mid January and then 5 days a month for the rest of the year. In 2008, a group friends tried to co-ordinate dates to visit the shrine as a group, the effort soon fizzled out as some of the group members couldn’t make it. Towards the end of 2009, I was asked to relocate to UK and this forced me to complete few unfulfilled vows. Visit to Sabarimala shrine was one of them. A group of 4 finalised the date, but two had to drop out at the last min, that left two of us to go ahead and visit the shrine. We picked up the window of 5 days in October to visit lord Ayyappa. Our travel journey started in Hyderabad. After visiting Lord Venkateshawara on the hills of Tirumala by foot our journey to Kottayyam was planned by Kanyakumari Express which leaves Tirupati at 11:00 am and reach Kottayam next morning at 6 am.
The train was delayed by, stretch your imagination, 12 hours. I and Ravi reached Tirupati railway station at 11:00 pm and waited for this train on the platform for 2 more hours. The total delay was now 14 hours. We were worried a lot that our planning has now gone for toss. We decided to go with the wind and see if we could make it. As I indicated earlier, the shrine is only open for 5 days and our original plan was to make it to the shrine on the penultimate day. We reached Kottayam at 4:30 pm the next day and went out to see how we could reach Erumeli and then to the Sabarimala by the night. Every one in Kottayam was suggesting to hire a round trip car/jeep. However, we didn’t want to come back to Kottayam from Sabarimala. We wanted to go to Thekkady and then to Madurai before returning back home. The only choice left for us was to take a public transport bus from Kottayam to Erumeli. We were warned that since it was off peak season the frequency of the buses wasn’t good and that part of the journey being a ghat road, would take lot more time by bus than private hire. Left with little choice we started walking to the bus terminal from the railway station.
Some one in his mid 30s clad in a khaki shirt and white dhoti came from behind and asked us if we wanted to go to Sabarimala. We said “yes”. We told him we wanted to go to Erumeli and then to Sabarimala. He said he had come to Kottayam to drop some one and was going back to Sabarimala and was willing to take us to Erumeli, wait there for an hour for us to take bath in the holy Pampa river and have darshan of lord Ayyappa and visit two more temples in Erumeli, before we could continue our journey to Sabarimala. We were overjoyed, but didn’t reveal it to him, bargained on the fare and struck deal with him in a matter of few minutes.
The journey to Erumeli was very scenic as with most places in Kerala. The ghat journey was great with occasional stop over for a hot cup of tea with mouth watering authentic Kerala snacks. We reached Erumeli at 6 pm. Just as we were about to have holy bath in river Pampa, I got a call from a close friend and colleague - Jay from Hyderabad. He had planned to come with us but could not make it, so wanted to check how we were doing. He had been to Sabarimala many times and was well versed with all the places enroute. He advised us to visit three temples in Erumeli and then proceed to Sabarimala. With his timely guidance we had darshan of lord Ayyappa and visited the other two temples in Erumeli before continuing our journey to Sabarimala.
We reached the foothills of Sabarimala at 10 pm and bid farewell to the driver, thanked and paid him more than what we bargained initially. The river Pampa flows at the foothills of Sabarimala too. We took another dip in the holy river before starting our trek uphill. Jay called us again to check where we were and how we were doing. We told him that we are about to start our journey up the hill. He advised us to take enough water and glucose along with a torch as it might be dark over a couple of stretches on the hill.
20 mins into the hike, we realised the importance of Jay’s advise. The hike started getting steeper and steeper and we were loosing our levels of glucose very fast and had to replenish them very frequently. The clear sky, fresh air, water falls, an occasional pilgrim group returning back or on their hike like us and lots of shops open at this hour serving food, lemon soda, tea, coffee and the occasional rest area with planks are memories that will always stay with us.
We finally reached Sabarimala at 12:30 am in the night. We went to the pilgrim centre only to find that no accommodation was available and didn’t know what to do. Just then Jay called us again, this time to check if we reached Sabarimala. It was late in the night for him, but he kept track of us and was helping us at each step. When we told him that no accommodation was available, he gave us specific instructions to go to a particular place and meet a particular person who would help. We had slight difficulty finding the place, but once we reached that place, we were welcomed and shown a place to rest that night. We were very tired and needed this rest very badly. If not for Jay we would have had to spend that night with out proper rest.
The next morning, we woke up early in the morning, had darshan, and then called Jay to thank him for his timely help all through the journey. He suggested that we visit two more temples there, one of the temples has a ritual of rolling coconuts around and making wish for our loved ones, particularly children. We performed the ritual.
We had a sumptuous breakfast and then started our journey down the hill. This time it was more scenic in the broad day light. Lots of pilgrims were on their way back to the foothill as it was the last day of the 5 day window for October.
The journey continued... I will pick up the remaining part of the journey some other time. However, I will take this opportunity to highlight the theme for this blog post.
The universe conspired to make things happen for us at least on three occasions during this journey.
1. Man in 30s clad in khaki shirt and white dhoti comes from no where to help us reach our destination on time.
2. Jay, our friend calls us up, guides us at every phase of the journey and makes arrangements for our night’s rest sitting remotely in Hyderabad at such an hour when most of them would have gone into deep sleep.
3. All this timely help and co-ordination meant that we could complete our darshan of lord Ayyappa before the shrine closed for October.
Try and dig your memory for such incidents, I am sure you will find lots of them. The universe does conspire to make things happen. All you need to do is to desperately want something.
So strive for something so strongly that the universe is forced to conspire and make things happen for you.
Good Luck!
Since Dec 2004 I wanted to visit “Sabarimala” (normal civil dress darshan). I kept postponing it till 2008. The Sabarimala shrine is open only for 2 months – from mid November to mid January and then 5 days a month for the rest of the year. In 2008, a group friends tried to co-ordinate dates to visit the shrine as a group, the effort soon fizzled out as some of the group members couldn’t make it. Towards the end of 2009, I was asked to relocate to UK and this forced me to complete few unfulfilled vows. Visit to Sabarimala shrine was one of them. A group of 4 finalised the date, but two had to drop out at the last min, that left two of us to go ahead and visit the shrine. We picked up the window of 5 days in October to visit lord Ayyappa. Our travel journey started in Hyderabad. After visiting Lord Venkateshawara on the hills of Tirumala by foot our journey to Kottayyam was planned by Kanyakumari Express which leaves Tirupati at 11:00 am and reach Kottayam next morning at 6 am.
The train was delayed by, stretch your imagination, 12 hours. I and Ravi reached Tirupati railway station at 11:00 pm and waited for this train on the platform for 2 more hours. The total delay was now 14 hours. We were worried a lot that our planning has now gone for toss. We decided to go with the wind and see if we could make it. As I indicated earlier, the shrine is only open for 5 days and our original plan was to make it to the shrine on the penultimate day. We reached Kottayam at 4:30 pm the next day and went out to see how we could reach Erumeli and then to the Sabarimala by the night. Every one in Kottayam was suggesting to hire a round trip car/jeep. However, we didn’t want to come back to Kottayam from Sabarimala. We wanted to go to Thekkady and then to Madurai before returning back home. The only choice left for us was to take a public transport bus from Kottayam to Erumeli. We were warned that since it was off peak season the frequency of the buses wasn’t good and that part of the journey being a ghat road, would take lot more time by bus than private hire. Left with little choice we started walking to the bus terminal from the railway station.
Some one in his mid 30s clad in a khaki shirt and white dhoti came from behind and asked us if we wanted to go to Sabarimala. We said “yes”. We told him we wanted to go to Erumeli and then to Sabarimala. He said he had come to Kottayam to drop some one and was going back to Sabarimala and was willing to take us to Erumeli, wait there for an hour for us to take bath in the holy Pampa river and have darshan of lord Ayyappa and visit two more temples in Erumeli, before we could continue our journey to Sabarimala. We were overjoyed, but didn’t reveal it to him, bargained on the fare and struck deal with him in a matter of few minutes.
The journey to Erumeli was very scenic as with most places in Kerala. The ghat journey was great with occasional stop over for a hot cup of tea with mouth watering authentic Kerala snacks. We reached Erumeli at 6 pm. Just as we were about to have holy bath in river Pampa, I got a call from a close friend and colleague - Jay from Hyderabad. He had planned to come with us but could not make it, so wanted to check how we were doing. He had been to Sabarimala many times and was well versed with all the places enroute. He advised us to visit three temples in Erumeli and then proceed to Sabarimala. With his timely guidance we had darshan of lord Ayyappa and visited the other two temples in Erumeli before continuing our journey to Sabarimala.
We reached the foothills of Sabarimala at 10 pm and bid farewell to the driver, thanked and paid him more than what we bargained initially. The river Pampa flows at the foothills of Sabarimala too. We took another dip in the holy river before starting our trek uphill. Jay called us again to check where we were and how we were doing. We told him that we are about to start our journey up the hill. He advised us to take enough water and glucose along with a torch as it might be dark over a couple of stretches on the hill.
20 mins into the hike, we realised the importance of Jay’s advise. The hike started getting steeper and steeper and we were loosing our levels of glucose very fast and had to replenish them very frequently. The clear sky, fresh air, water falls, an occasional pilgrim group returning back or on their hike like us and lots of shops open at this hour serving food, lemon soda, tea, coffee and the occasional rest area with planks are memories that will always stay with us.
We finally reached Sabarimala at 12:30 am in the night. We went to the pilgrim centre only to find that no accommodation was available and didn’t know what to do. Just then Jay called us again, this time to check if we reached Sabarimala. It was late in the night for him, but he kept track of us and was helping us at each step. When we told him that no accommodation was available, he gave us specific instructions to go to a particular place and meet a particular person who would help. We had slight difficulty finding the place, but once we reached that place, we were welcomed and shown a place to rest that night. We were very tired and needed this rest very badly. If not for Jay we would have had to spend that night with out proper rest.
The next morning, we woke up early in the morning, had darshan, and then called Jay to thank him for his timely help all through the journey. He suggested that we visit two more temples there, one of the temples has a ritual of rolling coconuts around and making wish for our loved ones, particularly children. We performed the ritual.
We had a sumptuous breakfast and then started our journey down the hill. This time it was more scenic in the broad day light. Lots of pilgrims were on their way back to the foothill as it was the last day of the 5 day window for October.
The journey continued... I will pick up the remaining part of the journey some other time. However, I will take this opportunity to highlight the theme for this blog post.
The universe conspired to make things happen for us at least on three occasions during this journey.
1. Man in 30s clad in khaki shirt and white dhoti comes from no where to help us reach our destination on time.
2. Jay, our friend calls us up, guides us at every phase of the journey and makes arrangements for our night’s rest sitting remotely in Hyderabad at such an hour when most of them would have gone into deep sleep.
3. All this timely help and co-ordination meant that we could complete our darshan of lord Ayyappa before the shrine closed for October.
Try and dig your memory for such incidents, I am sure you will find lots of them. The universe does conspire to make things happen. All you need to do is to desperately want something.
So strive for something so strongly that the universe is forced to conspire and make things happen for you.
Good Luck!
Friday, February 5, 2010
Work-Life balance
My cousin sent me this quote today. I like it a lot and thought of sharing this with you. It comes from a veteran who lived / worked most of his life for Coca-Cola. He worked for Coca-Cola for 35 years and worked his way through to the top before retiring as the Vice-Chairman.
"Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. You name them - work, family, health, friends and spirit - and you're keeping all of these in the air. You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls - family, health, friends and spirit - are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for balance in your life."
— Brian G. Dyson
"Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. You name them - work, family, health, friends and spirit - and you're keeping all of these in the air. You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls - family, health, friends and spirit - are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for balance in your life."
— Brian G. Dyson
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